So I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that Pam Grout has become my new guru…not that I need a guru! I like all the other authors in the ‘club’, they’re brilliant too, but Pam just ‘resonates’ more with me! Having read her book E2 and been thoroughly amazed by it and what I learned from it, I decided to also purchase E3 to further discover what other wonderful things I could pick up. I’ll let you know how it turns out as I’m still devouring it’s energy, but am pretty sure it will be a ‘happy’ ending!
I spent a lot of my life expecting the best to happen before I would become happy. Except deep down I never really expected anything, so therefore I stayed quite unhappy actually. I sent this ever-permanent feeling out into the Universe, let it affect all I did in life, my work, my play, it also affected my communication with others, including in my relationships. It was a negative vibe that was all pervasive, however hard I tried to hide it from other people and from myself.
Since relatively recently though, I no longer feel that negativity, I do feel positivity, happiness, joy and wonder; not because I’ve suddenly found that missing piece of the puzzle, but because I have just realised it was never missing in the first place! 🙂 I can create my own happiness and keep it too; and I can also create joy for others, now that’s fun!!
So a big thanks to Pam Grout for explaining the concept of the quantum field, where my natural state is only a thought away, I owe her big time! And I laugh an awful lot at her suggestions in how to practice being happy, all the time!
PS: Will you marry me, Pam?
Post Script twice: Perhaps I should post this on her blog….
Growing up, first I was an angry young man, blaming others for whatever situation I happened to find myself in, never taking responsibility for my thoughts or my actions, and perhaps more importantly, never understanding why I was so angry in the first place!
Then I became an angry young zionist, thinking that I’d found my nirvana and acting like some kind of idiotic hippie (no disrespect to hippies) part of the time, whilst the other half ‘fighting’ for what I perceived as my cause! Oddly enough though, as it turned out I was categorised by my then new countrymen as being ‘not registered’, since my heritage didn’t conform to their view of the world. Funny how I didn’t pick up on that bit of informtion entirely…
After this episode, I metamorphosed into a sad young man, not dealing very well with the news my father was ill with cancer, nor understanding why I was so sad! After he died in 1993, I entered the period which I like to call ‘my year on the floor’. I’d sit on the floor talking nonsense into a dictaphone, whilst drinking straight whiskey and smoking cigarettes into the wee hours! It was a low point.
From the early 1960’s, it took me around 30 years to discover an interesting fact, I can actually alter my reality (no not with drugs) but by taking responsibility for my own actions. It then took me about another 10 years to discover another interesting fact, I can actually ask for help to do that, and take responsibility for my thoughts at the same time! The last decade has been a learning curve for me (being not such a young man anymore), whereby my soulmate spoon-fed me books by people she likes to call ‘the club’; people like Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Neal-Donald Walsch, Mike Dooley, William Buhlman, James O’Dea, Lorna Byrne, Anita Moorjani, Joe Dispenza and Pam Grout. Well, it’s a big club and there are more… now I have discovered a new vision, renewed hope and understanding of my own person!
In all these three periods of my life I had created what was my reality, a world based on anger, frustration, lack and loneliness. I was not a very nice person, my social skills were non-existant and I had created a facade and built walls around myself. I never once realised that all I needed to do was re-think my perception and I could claw my way out of this ‘hell’. Of course it wasn’t like that, at times it was actually fun, but until I was able to change from deep within, nothing ever happened to alter these perceptions of reality that was my life.
I did eventually climb out of my hole and finally was able to get to this point where I am today, a journey which continues. I’m learning something new each and every day, and in the process I’ve become a better version of myself! In the last 5 years I have also attended courses at the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland and smallholding courses in Devon and Gloucestershire. My reading also includes Green build and self-sufficiency books, together all these written words and teachings help to create wonderful ideas that I hope to bring to manifestation!